28 march 2010
im new at this, but i keep all my feelings to myself, and i cant do it anymore. its so difficult to trust someone enough to be able to open up to them. i cant even trust my so to say best friend anymore. or x-best friend. thought i could till she just one day decided that im not good enough anymore. after 2 years of spending almost every day together.
although thats besides the point.
i am so fed up with guys not knowing how to treat a girl. a guy hurt me so bad...How many heartaches must I stand, Before I find the love to let me live again? there has been a lot, and i cant handle it anymore. the last one really went for it...broke down all my walls, just to let me fall the hardest ive ever fallen. i saw his again last nite for the first time after evrything that happened.. my heart pounded so hard, it felt like everybody could hear it. it was the worst feeling ever. and at that moment he went just that little step futher with hurting me.. (im very good friends with one of his friends. so my friend and i went to this guys house, we always go for a drink, not thinking that the guy - lets call him, steve. not thinking he would be there. as we gor there i regognised his bakkie. my heart just dropped. so my friend comes outside to greet us, and as he came outside we saw steve sitting just inside the front door on the couch. my friend invited us in for a drink, and i said no. so he kept on nagging me to come in, not realising that steve and i have a history, and then he got a sms from steve inside. i immidietly new what it was about. so i asked my friend today, just to see if what i thought the sms said was right. and he said he sms read "dont go on nagging" meaning he didnt want me there.) i cant believe someone i thought was the nicest guy, can be so awful and rude.
my heart is in pieces. and the scar will never go away.
My heart keeps callin And I keep on fallin Over and over again This set story always ends the same Me standin in the pouring rain It seems no matter what I do It tears my heart in two.
"Sometimes i just dont understand Why i am so different...Why cant i be just like everyone elseand accept that nothing is forever Why cant I figure out everything changesand to go with the flow Why havent i realized I'l find someone newand never feel so much pain Why didnt i learn, to live life with a brand new start..why am i so different....why am i still crying at night for all that he is..why do i search for words that wont mean anything to himwhy dont i understand that love was a waste and he doesnt love me"
well, i guess that enough for tonight or enough to start off with.
good night. *
About Me
- lulu:)
- "Everything happens for a reason, nothing happens by chance or by means of good luck or bad luck. Illness, injury, love, lost moments of true greatness and sheer stupidity all ocur te test the limits of your soul. Without these small tests, if they be events, illness or relationships, life would be like a smoothly paved, straight, flat road to nowhere. If someone hurts you, batrays you, or breaks your haert, forgive them. For they have helped you to learn about trust and importance of being cautious to who you open your heart to. If someone loves you, love them back unconditionally, not only because they love you, but because they are teaching you to love and to open your heart and eyes to things you would have never seen or felt without them. Make everyday count. Appreciate every moment and take from it everything that you possibly can, for you may never be able to experience it again. Talk to people you have never talked to before, and actually listen. Hold your head up because you have every right to. Tell yourself you are a great individual and believe in yourself, for if you dont believe in yourself, no one else will believe in you either....."